Kindness

I saw *the look*.  The triangle from the 2 kids racing around my feet to Emmett strapped to my front and finally up to my face before she opened her mouth to say something.  I braced myself for the usual "You've got your hands full."

Much has been said on the internet about this comment in posts such as "The 5 Things Never to Say to a Busy Mom" or something like that, and I agree the comment is really less than helpful.  Sometimes I like to think it's because they are so impressed with how well I can maneuver a shopping cart while patiently engaging 3 kids but mostly I know it's because one or more kids are loudly protesting how awful grocery shopping is.  Either way, I don't usually let the comment get to me.  I really believe that people say it because they don't know what else to say but they want to say something, to make a connection.  As a stay-at-home-mom with few human connections over age 5 in any given day, I do appreciate that.

But this time, I was surprised to hear her softly say "It's great that you read to your kids." I was caught off guard but managed a "Thank you." before I gathered up my library books and wrangled the kids out the door.  As I walked to the car, the stress of the outing melted away and I felt a little bit lighter as I thought about the simple act of kindness this lady had performed.

The more I have thought about this experience the more I appreciated it.  Although the "you have your hands full" comment doesn't especially bother me, I realized it does serve as a reminder that often times in public my kids (ok, mostly Liam) can get out of hand.  This line of thinking takes me down the negative path of noticing all the ways I don't feel like I measure up as a mom.  Liam has been challenging my parenting skills pretty much since the moment he was born.  Over the past year and a half it has gotten worse since behaviors that are acceptable in a 2 or 3 year old continued and even magnified.  The strain of parenting him leaves me with less creativity and patience than I would like, so I feel like there are a lot of things I don't do but wish I did.  This woman didn't know any of this of course but in that moment she was the tender mercy I needed to remind me that whatever I don't think I do well enough, there are still plenty of things I'm getting right.  It reminded me that one of the most meaningful acts of kindness we can encounter is someone saying kind words.