Some Thoughts on Mortality and Perfection

Sounds deep, and heavy.  Being pregnant makes me think a lot about mortality-not the death part, but the life part.  I'm acutely aware of what it takes to start a life, to bring a life into this world.  It means a lot of discomfort and change.  Like the achy hips and sore back, and that little tiny head that finds some way to press on my sciatic nerve. Pregnancy also makes me more aware of what this mortal experience means.  A lot of discomfort and change.

I'm a perfectionist (sort of), which means I try very hard for things to be perfect.  I've often mentally lamented (not in a serious self loathing kind of way) that things can't be perfect for my children.  Sometimes I think: "If only he didn't keep getting sick his schedule wouldn't be off and then he could grow perfectly and be happier." or "If only I wasn't so tired I could be more patient and kind in my parenting".  I've accepted that I can't do it perfectly and always felt gratitude that somehow the power of the Atonement can make up for my parenting (and other) imperfections, but recently I realized that there is more to it than simply that.

While lamenting to my mom that I've been a little less patient than I would like to be lately due to the end of pregnancy irritability she said something very profound.  She is always saying that part of a parent's job is to teach their children how to get along with people, which means that sometimes people are grouchy and irritable.  She said to me something like: "You can't be a perfect parent and even if you could it wouldn't be good for them because they would get out in the world and realize people aren't always nice and patient with them."  It was a revelation to me.  I've always known that I couldn't be a perfect parent, but I realize why it is part of the Lord's plan for me to not be a perfect parent.  Life is hard and it's about us doing the best we can in an imperfect world with imperfect people, and trying to be a little bit better all the time.  Being raised in a family is just the beginning of that-and how nice it is to start off with people who are imperfect but love you like crazy.

I've realized that as much as I (like most parents out there) want to make my children's lives easy, I really don't.  I know life is hard and I know that's what makes us better.  As it says in the Book of Mormon: "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so...righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad."

I'm grateful for parents who continue to teach me important things.